


Righted

by salesman



Series: Overloaded: Solas POV & Other Stories [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, POV First Person, POV Solas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3815605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salesman/pseuds/salesman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas has just absorbed Mythal's essence, and <em>everything</em> is feeling different.</p>
<p>
  <span class="small">
    <strong>*WARNING*</strong>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">
    <em>This is the end, the END, of Overloaded's <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3487133/chapters/8487958">Ch 56: The Slow Arrow</a> from Solas' point of view, so go read that first if you haven't yet!!</em>
  </span>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Righted

**Author's Note:**

> And imagine this entire conversation is in Elvish...

Everything was _sharp_ again. I had not realized how dull my senses had become until Mythal restored my power, uniting it with her own. Her body was melting away from my fingertips now, joining again with the Fade. I could feel _everything_. I had always had such a strong awareness of the Veil, but now it felt... like it was _crashing_ upon me. Like the weight of it was tearing down on my skin, and every spirit was whispering into my ears.

But that was fine... it was _easy_. I remained crouched on the ground, soaking in the sensations of the earth. I could hear, see, smell, _taste_ the world, and it called to me, came to me, breaking its elements upon my body like sweet caresses that I savored like nectar, like secret wisdoms I finally had access to.

And the _power_ I felt, heady power which flowed through my veins, surrounded me in a nearly suffocating way. But it intoxicated me, invigorated me, intensifying my every feeling, every memory...

I could effortlessly tear the Veil away at the flick of my fingers, I knew this. I could plunge through the Fade and exit across an ocean. I could call any spirit I wished, and they would obey, they would follow. I had my strength, my energy, my control back, completely returned as if they had never been separate.

This was how I was, how I had been. This was Fen’Harel.

_You have been busy, Dread Wolf_ , her voice smirked.

Mythal’s voice jolted me from the world, anchoring me to my mind instead. Memories flooded in, _her_ memories, recollections of her thousands of years of being. I would have thought it to be nauseating, such a sudden wealth of knowledge, but my mind expanded easily to accommodate them, sifting and organizing the visions and thoughts.

_As have you_ , I replied in my mind. Yes, she was here now. Mythal had melded with my essence, and we were one.

_I will never be you, Fen’Harel_ , she retorted. _This is only temporary, after all_.

Of course. Temporary. Her soul would be passed to Morrigan, as Flemeth had always wanted. Once I completed my duty, her essence would be delivered to her. I was merely a safeguard, still utilizing our combined forces, yes, but also protecting her as a momentary vessel.

_You have fallen for a human, Pride? How peculiar,_ she commented, as she had also gained my own memories.

Ah, yes. Anna. _I will not allow anything to come of it, though_. It was a great bereavement to never get the chance to have her, to embrace and cosset her the way she deserved to be loved.

Mythal laughed. The sound rang through my mind, singing like bells. _I hardly know you to be one who denies himself, Dread Wolf_ , she teased. _What is preventing you?_

What else? _The mission, Mythal. The People. It is easy to feel astray when I am with her, and I do not trust myself enough to complete my quest if I submit._

_And yet you have not left_ , she noted.

No. I had not. I _could_ not. Anna was... the thought of leaving her brought more despair than never even touching her again. It was greedy, selfish to feel that way, but I could not tear myself away, not while I still lived, before I had to abandon her out of duty.

_This is different, friend_ , Mythal observed. _Your feelings for this quickling... it borders on obsession._

Obsession. The word haunted me. It felt possessive, cruel.

But Mythal’s voice was kind, forgiving. _You love everything about her, even the qualities that anger you_.

I could not even think of what angered me about Anna. She only brought me smiles. The thought of her brought me back to my surroundings, and I looked up at my Anna then, as she was still standing nearby and waiting, her body swaying tentatively, unsure of what I had become. The worry on her face clenched my heart, and I longed to ease her anxiety. She called to me, asking me how I felt. _Anna_. Always caring.

_She makes you happy, Dread Wolf._

Happy...? It was unfortunate how Anna clouded my mind, helped me forget the grave errors that brought me to this suicidal quest.

_Why are you so certain of your death?_ she pondered.

_How will they not kill me, Mythal? After all I have done and betrayed them with?_ I asked her.

_You are necessary, Pride. They will need you_.

Yes. There was much truth in her statement. But the pantheon was hot-blooded and capricious, their anger would consume them before all else.

_Regardless, you do not need to worry_ , she said. _You will release them, no matter how much you give into that human._

But in Anna’s presence, I only ever felt the desire to quit, to leave, to abandon it all. Loving her was dangerous, it always had been, and I would not succumb to its pleasures. It was too perilous.

_I thought you would know yourself better by now, Fen’Harel_ , she mocked. _Your duty precedes all else. You will not fail._

_How are you so sure?_ This was different, this was new. It was even stronger than...

_Than the anchor, the Inquisitor. The elven woman you believed yourself so desperately in love with, you left her out of fear, fear of failing your quest. But you had no idea how strong this would be. The love of a human from another realm. A human who knew your true identity, who refused to leave you, and even you yourself could not stay away. She is young, but she is bright, and you feel more connected to her than anyone in all of the millennia you have lived._

These words... Mythal was being relentless with these words. Truths I had been ignoring, pushing into the darkest, most hidden corners of my mind, buried under the misery and anguish of my past aberrations. _What am I supposed to do?_

It felt like Mythal was smiling, warming my mind like a gentle fire. _Whatever you wish, friend. Whatever makes you happy_.

_But what I have done to the People... I do not deserve happiness_ , I argued.

_But doesn’t she? If you are so determined not to give yourself happiness, then at least for your final deed, before your mission’s end, give that poor human her happiness. Hasn’t she sacrificed enough for you?_

Yes. Yes, she had. And something overcame me then, something marvelous, a great relief. It was like an enormous alleviation of the heavy burden of uncertainty, the chains of doubt. Mythal had always been exceptional at comforting me, but having her in my mind was an entirely new degree of appeasement. Every anxiety I had, she squandered instantaneously, submerging them with images of memories I loved... of Anna, smiling, laughing, dancing, of a world that was at peace and free.

_You should tell her_ , Mythal suggested.

Tell her? _She already knows that I love her_ , I replied.

_No, Pride, you should tell her that she is your home._

My home, my heart. Anna.

Mythal was retreating now, I could sense it. _It is straining, continuing like this,_ she said. _Summon me when it is time_.

_Of course, friend_. I replied. _Sleep well_. She disappeared, receding somewhere in my mind and out into the Fade.

I stood up then, my body filled with a new purpose that I had so long withheld and denied. I took a step, and the whole world swayed from it, accepting my newly immense presence and even welcoming it. I approached Anna, and she recoiled, a fearful look in her eye. It pained me to see her react this way, and yet was also amusing, the thought of her ever feeling endangered by me ridiculous. I would never harm her, I could not even dream of it.

And the way she looked now... she was beautiful, dazzling. My eyes drank her in eagerly, skimming over every piece of her. She was still a few strides away, calling out names, _my_ names, but I could feel her, smell her, taste her as if she were pressed against me. But she wasn’t. And she needed to be.

I finally reached her, placing my hands on her stunning, radiant face. Touching her skin absolutely electrified me, sending a shudder of thrilling fervor straight to my core. This delayed gratification would meet its end at last.

I kissed her, bringing her lips to mine and tasting— _finally_ tasting—what I had desired for endless eternities. She was here, she was real, she was _mine_. My heart, my home, my world.

And nothing had ever felt so right.


End file.
